“I didn’t come to treatment to be in a juvenile offender’s institution.”

Actually, the three juveniles we have at present are as good as gold. Two of the adults have not been so well behaved. This particular adult is polite and respectful and everything one would expect of a product of the Home Counties – but she wants another drink and any excuse to leave will do.

“I am considering working for someone else. I’ll see how that works out.”

I suppose the implication of that is that he would like to come back if it doesn’t work out.

One of our juvenile patients was beefing about his parents, as juveniles tend to do. Another one said “I wish I had parents like yours”. The father of the second was shot dead in a drug-gang turf war. His mother, as he says is “on the beat”. The first one, public school educated and shortly to go to Florida for a family holiday, wised up pretty fast. The encounter did him the world of good. His parents, after initially being concerned over the character of the other boy, became very grateful to him.

He is going off his trolley again. He has got so many fantastic new schemes that he has lost the basic plot.

I was surprised to discover how much I know. In fact the only thing I learnt in four hours was that in Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation the ratio between chest thrusts and mouth to mouth breaths is now recommended to be 30:2. I knew what to do for falls, fits, cuts, asthma, choking, heart attacks and anaphylaxis. Of course, as a doctor, I ought to know about these things. However, I reckon that it is always safest for my patients if I start from the position of Manuel in Fawlty Towers: “I know nothing”. It cost me a lot of money to be away from the medical practice and I missed the lunchtime psychodrama session and the supervision session in the Counselling Centre but I felt it was worth it just to make sure that I am up to date and not the clinical liability that I feared I might be.

“You spent all of sixty seconds with us. It was insulting.”

It was Sunday afternoon. There were twenty four patients and thirty four family members in the Recovery Centre at that time. Meg and I had already done our respective group therapy sessions and I had given the conjoint lecture. All I was doing afterwards was just saying hello. I was trying to be polite.

Meg pointed out to me that I have had no real break since we went to Australia (she for two weeks, me for only one) in February and that my break at Christmas will be interrupted by the Healthcare Commission inspection. I enjoy my seven day week at work but it would be nice to have another seven day break sometime. Perhaps at Easter.

Of course there are times when I worry. I have a lot to think about and all sorts of things can go wrong unexpectedly. I should worry if I didn’t worry.

I confess: I don’t actually know what an IT girl is. Anyway, I gather this particular patient’s sister is one. From what I heard, I’m rather glad that she isn’t my sister.

Not another one! What on earth do they all get up to in their palaces?